Her final days as the "only child"

Before reading this, please know I am absolutely thrilled about having a second child.  It has always been my dream to have two children - I would love to have a boy and a girl, but I am not the deciding factor in that.  Two kids has always seemed like the "perfect" balance - two parents, two children, our house and cars are the right size...I am so excited about TWO kids.

BUT, this week since I have been off, and had tons of time to "think," has been so emotional.  Allie Parker has been our focus and our world, since the day she was born.  Given we have zero family down here, it's the three of us, all the time.  We don't have the luxury of grandparents to pick her up from school or stay with her when she is sick - it's me and Ben, that's it.  The three of us see the good, bad and the ugly of one another but I would not trade it for the world.

There is something about this whole transition that makes me feel so guilty for Allie.  I know adding a second child (in the end) will be awesome, as it adds someone to play, learn and grow with, but I am so worried about her looking at me (especially) as someone who brings something home that changes her world forever. 

I know this will pass, as Monday is right around the corner - I just always want Allie to know how much I adore and love her...a mother's love sees beyond the fits, tantrums and difficult times.  I see the happiness, joy, love and true character she adds to the world. 

Looking to the future (and the positive side!) - I cannot wait to see the similarities and differences in my children.  Allie was born after 8 short hours of labor, she was a chunky monkey with dark brown hair, a very easy newborn who slept amazingly well starting the day we brought her home from the hospital.  She came into my life 30 days after losing my mom...needless to say, she has helped me through a lot.  She has always favored Ben and his side of the family.  She is intelligent, witty, unbelievably loving and overall, a true joy.  What will this child be like????