This is such a good song and totally made my day today. Although life can be rough, things are always going to be OK. I have a pretty damn good life and this song reminded me today that even through the sorrow and grief I face daily, I am so lucky to be where I am. Enjoy!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Already a year...
I never thought 2, 5, 14, or even 28 years ago I would sit here in my leather chair writing this. Has mom really been gone a full year? She has missed out on so much - it's nuts how much goes on in 365 days.
This morning Ben took Allie and I to breakfast (probably to make sure I ate!) to get my mind off her being gone then I did what I thought was fitting for the one-year anniversary of her death - I bought some plants during lunch and potted them in the backyard.
I ran to Lowe's and of course, the first plant I ran into was a hydrangea. I blogged almost a year ago about the first plant delivered to the house after mom died - a hydrangea from my high school friend, Jamie. Mom always picked a seasonal flower of choice and last year it was the hydrangea. I thought it was fitting to buy one today for mom.
This time last year, Ben and I were on our drive to Marshall, in complete disbelief. I will never forget getting ready for my, what I thought was, 36-week doctor's appointment, then Ben walking through the back door sobbing, unable to speak, and the words "it's your mom, Carmen - she died" coming out of his mouth. Poor guy, what an awful message to have to deliver to your wife. I remember laying on my back on the rug in the living room , speechless...I didn't know what to ask. I didn't know who to call. I didn't know how to act. It's amazing how a situation can literally knock you on your ass. I come across as such a tough person and hearing those words come out of Ben's mouth knocked.me.down.
Anyway, so to get back to my shenanigans today. Mom loved bromelaids so I bought one for our kitchen island. What a better way for Allie to eat her breakfast each morning than being able to look at one of her Grandma Kim's favorite flowers?
- XM paid for another 18-months
- sunroof, spoiler, chrome package
- literally "like new" - no dents or dings
When we bought it we purchased the "Dealers Choice" package (~$2,000) which included all maintenance. I am trying to find out through Infiniti of BR if this is transferable to the new owner. I should know something ASAP.
This morning Ben took Allie and I to breakfast (probably to make sure I ate!) to get my mind off her being gone then I did what I thought was fitting for the one-year anniversary of her death - I bought some plants during lunch and potted them in the backyard.
I ran to Lowe's and of course, the first plant I ran into was a hydrangea. I blogged almost a year ago about the first plant delivered to the house after mom died - a hydrangea from my high school friend, Jamie. Mom always picked a seasonal flower of choice and last year it was the hydrangea. I thought it was fitting to buy one today for mom.
Anyway, so to get back to my shenanigans today. Mom loved bromelaids so I bought one for our kitchen island. What a better way for Allie to eat her breakfast each morning than being able to look at one of her Grandma Kim's favorite flowers?
These plants were actually from mom's funeral so they've made it a year in this crazy Ross family! Mom would have chastised me by now for not re-potting them so I bought new homes for them today. The peace plant (in the middle) needs a little TLC but hey, she's still alive! The ivy's look great and love the small amount of sun they get on the side porch.
This little guy also came from the funeral and enjoys the morning sun from the garage. He got a new home today as well.
I am so excited about my new job with Forest Pharmaceuticals. I met with one of my partners yesterday and she.is.AWESOME! I cannot wait to get to know her better. Things have worked out amazingly well for us the past month and I am ecstatic to start this new chapter in my life. I have no doubt my mom pulled strings for me in heaven on this new job. I am over the moon and can't wait to give it my all.
Change is hard, and I am going to miss my friends at PTM. One final thing I have to do now is sell my car so the "For Sale" sign went on the back today. Kind of sad. Growing up my parents never had the money to buy me a new car (even if they did I guarantee they wouldn't have because I would have torn it up!) so the Infiniti was my first one. I have been so proud of this car and demand the person who buys it to take just as good care of it as I have. Here are the stats:
- 2009 Infiniti G37
- $28,000
- less than 17,000 miles
- black leather interior- XM paid for another 18-months
- sunroof, spoiler, chrome package
- literally "like new" - no dents or dings
When we bought it we purchased the "Dealers Choice" package (~$2,000) which included all maintenance. I am trying to find out through Infiniti of BR if this is transferable to the new owner. I should know something ASAP.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Athletic Department Picnic
This evening, the athletic department hosted a picnic for all staff and families on the field of Tiger Stadium. I must admit, not too many kids (infants at that) get to play on Tiger Field so this was a real treat. We got some precious pictures of us with Allie and the adorable Broussard boys! Allie not only had her first rendezvous on the field, but also got to eat puffs on the eye of the tiger and divulged in her first snoball.
Allie had tubes put in her ears early this morning so she's kind of been a little "out of it" today. But this girl thoroughly enjoyed the fun on the field.
Allie had tubes put in her ears early this morning so she's kind of been a little "out of it" today. But this girl thoroughly enjoyed the fun on the field.
AP and her daddy. His love and commitment for LSU allows us to do these cool things!
"What am I doing out here by myself?"
"Ok, I'm not digging this."
Mom comes to the rescue
Allie and Evan are buds at school and on the field
Thursday, May 5, 2011
My 10-year dream has come true!
As you know, getting into pharmaceutical sales has always been a goal of mine. After college, I interviewed with several companies but didn't make it far - I was too green! What the interviews afforded me however, turned out to be awesome experience.
Pro Tech was acquired by 3M in October 2010 and I would be telling a story if I wrote it has been a smooth transition. 3M is an amazing company and if I did not have a family, an 11-month-old especially, it would be an awesome place to grow my sales career. BUT, I have both of these things and want to be home more.
Several weeks ago I interviewed for a pharma position at Forest Pharmaceuticals - the position is located in Baton Rouge with local travel. One thing has led to another and I was formally offered the position this week...I.am.ECSTATIC! My new position is not only financially rewarding, but a true blessing for my family as "mommy" will be home at night to actually be the "glue" that keeps things going round.
I blogged almost one year ago about my family's "glue" being ripped apart when my mom died. Since becoming a mom last June, I quickly realized I am the "glue" of the Ross family. Sure, Ben can hold down the fort for a couple days while I am gone, but the mom of the family is the one who makes everything better (no knock to the dad's out there!). Mom's quick departure from this Earth has made me (and everyone) realize that life is short - missing out on Allie's "small" milestones are HUGE for me.
This position with Forest could not have come at a better time for me - I found out I landed the job on the 1-year anniversary date of the last time I saw mom. Doesn't that tell you that angels truly do work in your favor? Mom was always my biggest advocate - whether she expressed it verbally or not - and I have no doubt she pulled strings for me. The hardest part about this week is she was the only person not here to call when I found out. I balled to Ben, my dad, my Aunt Jamie, my friend Autumn....it's just so sad my number 1 fan is not here.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next couple weeks as we experience our first Mother's Day without mom, the 1-year anniversary of her death next Thursday, followed by Greg's law school graduation next Sunday. Emotionally draining I tell you.
Thank you for everyone's kind words, texts, emails, calls, etc. during all this - our support system is truly amazing.
With love,
Carmen
Pro Tech was acquired by 3M in October 2010 and I would be telling a story if I wrote it has been a smooth transition. 3M is an amazing company and if I did not have a family, an 11-month-old especially, it would be an awesome place to grow my sales career. BUT, I have both of these things and want to be home more.
Several weeks ago I interviewed for a pharma position at Forest Pharmaceuticals - the position is located in Baton Rouge with local travel. One thing has led to another and I was formally offered the position this week...I.am.ECSTATIC! My new position is not only financially rewarding, but a true blessing for my family as "mommy" will be home at night to actually be the "glue" that keeps things going round.
I blogged almost one year ago about my family's "glue" being ripped apart when my mom died. Since becoming a mom last June, I quickly realized I am the "glue" of the Ross family. Sure, Ben can hold down the fort for a couple days while I am gone, but the mom of the family is the one who makes everything better (no knock to the dad's out there!). Mom's quick departure from this Earth has made me (and everyone) realize that life is short - missing out on Allie's "small" milestones are HUGE for me.
This position with Forest could not have come at a better time for me - I found out I landed the job on the 1-year anniversary date of the last time I saw mom. Doesn't that tell you that angels truly do work in your favor? Mom was always my biggest advocate - whether she expressed it verbally or not - and I have no doubt she pulled strings for me. The hardest part about this week is she was the only person not here to call when I found out. I balled to Ben, my dad, my Aunt Jamie, my friend Autumn....it's just so sad my number 1 fan is not here.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next couple weeks as we experience our first Mother's Day without mom, the 1-year anniversary of her death next Thursday, followed by Greg's law school graduation next Sunday. Emotionally draining I tell you.
Thank you for everyone's kind words, texts, emails, calls, etc. during all this - our support system is truly amazing.
With love,
Carmen
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Hard to believe it's been a year
One year ago today, I saw mom for the last time.
Saturday, May 1, I had a baby shower hosted by my mother-in-law's friends. That Sunday, Ben and I stayed in Marshall for the night, Ben worked Shreveport Monday and I worked from mom and dad's house. That morning, mom came downstairs, gave me a big hug and told me how excited she was to be a grandmother. I was not going to see her until either a) my water broke, or b) I was induced. Unfortunately, her life was cut short and she didn't make either.
Today has been rough, I will not sugar coat it, but it's just one of the many "firsts" you have to go through when losing a loved one. Sunday is Mother's Day followed by the one-year anniversary of her death next Thursday (May 12th), followed by my brother's graduation from law school May 15th, then Allie's birthday June 11th. Ugh. That's a lot of "firsts" to have to endure in a short period of time.
Life goes on, but it doesn't make missing mom and easier. In fact, I think it makes it harder.
Saturday, May 1, I had a baby shower hosted by my mother-in-law's friends. That Sunday, Ben and I stayed in Marshall for the night, Ben worked Shreveport Monday and I worked from mom and dad's house. That morning, mom came downstairs, gave me a big hug and told me how excited she was to be a grandmother. I was not going to see her until either a) my water broke, or b) I was induced. Unfortunately, her life was cut short and she didn't make either.
Today has been rough, I will not sugar coat it, but it's just one of the many "firsts" you have to go through when losing a loved one. Sunday is Mother's Day followed by the one-year anniversary of her death next Thursday (May 12th), followed by my brother's graduation from law school May 15th, then Allie's birthday June 11th. Ugh. That's a lot of "firsts" to have to endure in a short period of time.
Life goes on, but it doesn't make missing mom and easier. In fact, I think it makes it harder.
Mom and me - May 1, 2010 (34 weeks) - at my last baby shower
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ham-bone
Allie's new "thing" is standing up in the bath tub. Not only does she know she's not supposed to do it, but she smiles every time signaling she knows it's not right. Tonight I did the reverse camera on the video part of my iPhone so she could watch herself and this is what I got. Ham-bone I tell you.
Click-clack
Yesterday, two of our good friends' babies were baptized so we attended St. Aloysius for the service then a brunch at Mr. Bob and Mrs. Nell's house for their new grandson, Jacob.
Lola Eyre is 3 months younger than Allie and taught her how to clack her tongue and it is now all - Allie - does. So funny. I got her to perform tonight in the bath tub.
Lola Eyre is 3 months younger than Allie and taught her how to clack her tongue and it is now all - Allie - does. So funny. I got her to perform tonight in the bath tub.
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